poems
Dirtnap by J.R. McCarthy
Henry Rollins by Richard Tyrone Jones
The Kiss of the Rubber-Lipped Elephant by Andrew H. Oerke
Proximity and Elapsion by Adam Vatterott
Morning Constitutional by Ook, Warrior Poet
Where the Old Winding Road Twists by J.C.

prose
A Clean, Well-Lighted Crypt by The Bare-Fanged Contessa*
A Staff Letter from the Headmaster of Nobblesnuff’s Academy of Wizardry by Amy Vansant
House on Haunted House by Gordon Stanley*

classic asinine
How Little Red Riding Hood Came to Be Eaten by Guy Wetmore Carryl

podcasts
Episode 94: Rise of the Planet of the Asinine. Including “How Little Red Riding Hood Came to Be Eaten” by Guy Wetmore Carryl (read by Stoney Emshwiller).

poems
Self-Portrait of the Artist by Vernon Waring
Painting by Graham Everett
Nancy Grace Bitchslaps My Muse by Figgie Creamcheese
Choy’s Religion by Ann Steiner
This is My Mind, This is My House by William Wesley Ankrum
Lust by Jekwu Anyaegbuna
Describing the Ideal Art Film about Equality by Dustin Michael

prose
Book Review: Ship of Fool, William Trowbridge by Adam Vatterott
Broke Bert Mountain by Richard Cairo*
Germline by Richard Tyrone Jones

classic asinine
A Pretty Girl by J. Gordon Coogler

podcast
Episode 93: Asinine Night 3D

prose
Dark Noir: The Tax Man Always Rings At Least The One Time by Richie Narvaez*
The Jig Is Up, a Travelogue of Ireland by Eileen Budd
Lunch with Imaginary Gary by Adam Vatterott

classic asinine
If They Meant All They Said by Alice Duer Miller

podcast
Episode 92: Captain Asinine

poems
Beach Manager Blues by Natalie M. Dorfeld, PhD
What Lame — Anemic Creatures — by Apple Dickinson
Ragweed by Jenifer Lee Wallace
No Sex with Insects by Callie Cardamon
After Thoreau by David Alpaugh
¿Donde Está La Casa de Pepe? by Colonel Drunky Bob

prose
Cozy Cabin, A Tale of Immigration by Skip Toumalou
Consider the Lowly Flame by Bernie Keating
Fatty Patty: Jumbo Love Doll by Joe Fusco Jr.

classic asinine
A Young Lady of Niger by William Cosmo Monkhouse

asinine podcast
Episode 91: Mission Asinine: Asinine Protocol

poems
Dickhead by William Trowbridge
Bananas by Marc Carver
Half the Russian Wrestlers by Michael Frissore
Master Debate on May 22, 2011 by G. Nash
Emergency Action Drills by Natalie M. Dorfeld, PhD
Jenny’s Song by Roger Unrequited*

prose
Losing My Religion: Oprahcalypse Now! by Judy Maitland
Da Last Speaker o’ Engrish Dies by Richard Cairo*
The Marriage, Right by Marybeth Niederkorn, Poet Extraordinaire

classic asinine
Comic Miseries by John G. Saxe

podcast
Episode 90: Asinine: First Class*

app!
Download the new Asinine Poetry app for free.

prose
Shooting an Elephant Werewolf by The Bare-Fanged Contessa*
I’ll Have the Fish by M.B. O’Connor
Why Basmati Rice Is the Bane of the Worldwide Lurking Community by Matt Medina

classic asinine
The Height of the Ridiculous by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Tap your way to silliness.

The April issue of Asinine Poetry is up! Plus: My buddies at Woern LLC and I have launched the Asinine Poetry app for iPhones. Download it here.

poems
App by Richard Cairo*
I Told Her I Would Be by Michael Frissore
World’s Biggest Fool by William Trowbridge
There Was a Professor of English by K.A. Laity
Figgie Hears English Is Dead as Latin or French or Physics or Doornails by Figgie Creamcheese
Sam by Chris Yardley

prose
Journal of a Creative Writing Professor by Hector Poole*
Bird Reproduction by Bernie Keating
Thoughts of a Cannibal as a Respectable Foodie by ern modern

classic asinine
The Passionate Freudian to His Love by Dorothy Parker

asinine podcast
Episode 88: Your Asinineness