Nuyorican Obituary

IN THE MARCH ISSUE OF ASININEPOETRY.COM: Vague references to St. Patrick’s day gingerly tie together this issue’s offers.

poems

An Irish Lad Named O’Bama by Glenna Sweeney
Tiger in the Woodshed by Rick Blum
Hal-Ku No. 13 by Hal Sirowitz
The Girls of Vancouver 2010 by Daniel Thomas Moran
Rushmore Plus 2 by Ryan Quinn Flanagan
Cat Tips by Euretha Maki
I Favor Three-Toed Sloths by Richard Peake
Ring a Ding Ding by Richie Narvaez
Zen by Carlos Hiraldo
He Will Never Get It by Alex Galper

prose
Corporate Gag Gift by Marybeth Niederkorn, Poet Extraordinaire

classic asinine
Stella’s Birthday March 13, 1719 by Jonathan Swift

2010: The year we make contact

After many, many meetings in bars, we finally sobered up and launched the reincarnation of Asinine Poetry. The first issue went up precisely at 12:00 a.m., January 1, 2010.

poems
Year-View Mirror: The Year 2009 in Rhyme by Scott Emmons
When YOU Die by Colonel Drunky Bob
On the Death of Arnold Stang by ern modern
Dark Matters by Roger Unrequited
Haunted Toilet 2 by Elizabeth Swados
Nancy Grace by Albert Van Hoogmoed
Lunch by Bill Jansen
The Charge for the Purchase You Made by Jon Wesick
Bob Balaban and the Taliban by Gordon Stanley
Politiku #1 and #2 by Michael Ceraolo

prose
Letter from My Girlfriend Who Works in Marketing by Steve Blackburn

classic asinine
Hymn to the Belly by Ben Jonson

New issue for December 2009.

“Asinine Christmas Poem No. 6” by Fenway Parker
“Up on the Rooftop” by Albert Van Hoogmoed
“An Obsessive-Compulsive’s Christmas Tree Decorating Guide” by Eileen Budd
“Winter Asides” by Jessica L. Kleinman
“Hold That, Tiger!” by Scott Emmons
“A Recent Study” by Katharine Showalter
“Gender Wars” by Graham Everett
“Mean Old Buzzard Song” by Russ Brickey
“The Man Who Saved the Whole Country” by Gary Lehmann
“Do You Have a Kindle ” by Gregory Lawrence Stewart
“for a literary agent” by James Fabris

Graham Everett came by the casa and filmed me in my natural environment.

Check out the poems for November 2009.

“Returning My Love” by Hal Sirowitz
“Asinine Thanksgiving Poem No. 10” by Fenway Parker
“Big Shiny Balloon” by Richard Cairo
“Balloon Boy in the Fifth Dimension” by Joe ”King” Lee
“The Governors” by Graham Everett
“Chefs Go Cheap” by Katharine Showalter
“I Love Ogden” by Euretha Maki
“Familiar Voices” by Gary Lehmann
“Good Morning” by Barry Secretagent
“Thintherity” by Randy Koch

And our latest podcast, “Episode 64: Ninja Asinine.”

Read the October 2009 issue of AsininePoetry.com.

“The Dog with A Muddy Bottom” by Hal Sirowitz
“Asinine Halloween Poem No. 3” by Fenway Parker
“Williamsburg, Brooklyn” by Aardvark Bascombe
“She Cried Herpes” by Barry Secretagent
“My Friend Stephen Turned Himself into this Title” by Chrissy Rye-Rye
“Snorkeling in the Tub” by Albert Van Hoogmoed
“Nekkid Snails” by Chrissie Faupel
“Enchanted” by Gerald So
“Leaves of Leaves” by Richie Narvaez
“Dear Stoney: A Subtle Rebuttal” by Dana Esau Larsen

Also, check out the asinine prose contest entry that came in second:
”A Woman and Her Secrets” by Ed Kornfeld

Seems like I’ve been doing a bunch of these lately. I hope my liver can take it.

Listen to Episode 60: “Asinine Poetry Happens”

Listen to Episode 59: “Asinine Poetry and the Public Option”

New poems for the latest issue of AsininePoetry.com include a great, timely poem (about the Disney takeover of Marvel) by my pal and rakish ne’er-do-well Dustin.

“Buzz Lightyear, Herald of Galactus, Announces Merger” by Dustin Michael
“Killer in the End Zone, for Michael Vick” by Richard Cairo
“For a Congressman” by James Fabris
“Oh, Please Do Read It” by Gary Lehmann
“A Poet Considers Retooling for the New Economy” by Randy Koch
“”Tour de Farce” Rebuttal” by Stoney Emshwiller
“Peggy’s Shoes Are Size Four” by Swifty McSwifterson
“Slippery Dick” by Howard Pflanzer
“Mustachio” by Matt Dennie
“Biology 101” by Stephen Kopel

Who says a literary journal internationally ridiculed for the ridiculousness of its poetry cannot also be as well known for its equally ludicrous prose?

FIRST PRIZE “The Scourge of Unlawful Infants” by Stoney Emshwiller
SECOND PRIZE  “A Woman and Her Secrets” by Ed Kornfeld
THIRD PRIZE  “Tie Goes to the Dog” by Dustin Michael

The other entries and runners up will be uploaded once a month for the next 10 months.

Listen to Episode 58: “Asinine Poetry and the Half-Drunk Prince.”