Nuyorican Obituary

BANNER AD POEM NO. 1
EARN A FREE
Get What You
Need No
Go Where
You Want
Go ROUND-TRIP
Spend $1,000
Earn, No, APPLY
Now annual fee
Earn one,
Spend $1,000
for one
domestic
— a savings
Limited
Rewards
NOW
APPLY

MEETING POEM NO. 3
I am thinking of the user
We have to bucket them
We can bucket them and even before
we get to this point we
can talk about that
some other
That’s a big discussion
I’m thinking of the user
We were talking about
when we segment them
That’s when we come in
with the YOU-I
It’s not as high as high
Because high-high
Lives with the story
We can’t design
All of it now
I understand
Let’s keep
Going
We’ll just talk to it
We’re not showing them visuals
We won’t know until
We do a YOU-I
Maybe we should
Maybe we should take this
offline

This weekend, coworkers at the job got together to film short little movies, sample commercials for some project. I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention. I was asked to act in one scene, playing a rebellious employee. Of the 552 takes I did (no, not pictured), I never got the tone just right at the same time that I was in the camera’s sights, at the same time that I banged down my prop Slurpee (a big blue disgusting thing flavored like gum). Acting, alas, may not be for me.

*

In related news, I uploaded two more podcasts hosted by actress/coworker Juliette Avila (above, in borrowed glasses) are up on AsininePoetry.com–Episode 39 is highlighted by a rendition of “If I Only Had an Ass” (with very brief and sad backup vocals by yours truly) and Episode 40 is highlighted by the latest craze of Agatha Christie-ing.

There is a Frenchman in the cubicle next to mine, nice guy, accent, brings in some good wine and cheese sometimes. And he has this lava lamp. Size: grande. One day, for no reason I could understand, the image of the mythic Christian messiah appeared on the surface of the lava lamp, rendering the contents within sacred, to some. And then just as suddenly the image disappeared.

Here, the Office Gorn is impelling me to write. He has meanwhile confiscated any raw materials from which I could have made a crude but effective weapon. And so I wrote. If I did well, he said, he would buy me a beer.

What the hell have I been up to?! Well, nothing for a while, and believe me I was desperate to put a new post up ASAP because I was just as tired as you are of my hippy picture down there. Anyway, last week, jubilant Juliette Avila came by the AsininePoetry.com studios and recorded a whole bunch of poems. Then, later, I accidentally deleted two of her best readings. Um. But–there were plenty more left. Check out her asinine podcast debut. (It’s great, by the way, to get a new voice in there. I’ve been doing it solo for a while, and, I think, sounding too beat and bored, sort of like David Letterman on his late night show now. Hi Dave!)

In writing news, two of my poems, “Samhain” and “A Stomach Growls for Love,” were accepted for publication in the 2008 Long Island Sounds Anthology. It’s a compilation of Long Island-based poets, but I qualify to get in there maybe because I went to college on Lawn Guyland or because Brooklyn is the western end of the glacial moraine that is Lawn Guyland.